Toddlers- They Suck- It Is All Their Fault!

It is eight in the morning and I am all snuffly and coughy. Isaiah grabbed his milk, the whole container, from the counter top and poured it into the carpet (yet another reason we need new carpets). He pulled all the pillows off the couch and emptied the contents of the drawer that held all the wires and gaming remotes. While I was in the bathroom, trying to make my nose inhale some kind of air, Isaiah peed on the Christmas tree skirt. He unwound a VHS tape (meh. we don't even have a VCR). He pulled his step up to the microwave and slammed it open and shut a couple of dozen times. He spanked Noelle, our dog, and told her that she was mean. He finished a whole round of his new favorite song that he wrote and composed himself, "I'mma Penis Mamma, Penis Mamma, Penis, Monkies LOOK!"

He mastered the art of, "Heeeeeey Mooooooooom.....MOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!" And when I answer his calls, he just stares at me, then starts again. I still can't seem to get oxygen through my nose. I have a really really REALLY bad sinus headache. I might kill someone (don't worry I have a list of people who need to be offed) and I haven't REALLY spent any quality time with my husband who seems to make this world live- able. That is Isaiah's fault too...just because he was born.

But when my little two and a half year old boy cups my face in his hands and says, "I help mom breave..." then sticks his finger in my nose. I know he loves me and he wants to help. And then when I start crying because I am hormonal and that weird gesture of love seemed so appropriate and Isaiah says, "Whut wrong Momma? I count: ones, twos, frees...." I realize that somehow, I suppose, I can forgive the fact that he pooped behind my couch just a couple of days ago, and maybe I DO love him after all.

Do I REALLY do these things?

So the other day, before my OB appointment... I decided I was too hairy- and I should wax my pregnant belly. It was an AWFUL idea.

Read about it here.

Garrett on being African American

Over at TheBrokins.com I've posted about living with a man who believes he might be a great authority on African American culture. Check it out.

Stuff You Should KNOW about!!!

I am going to church on Sunday and imploring the oversite team to allow me to install this bell/poster in the women's bathroom... OMG! How awesome would that be.
Follow the links friend...


P.S. NO ONE is getting paid for you to follow the links... it is just good stuff that folks should know about.

And the Bad Mommy Monday Award Goes To......

Some people have friends that call and tell them about their problems. Some people have friends that call and tell them the joke of the week. Some people have friends that call to catch up on the latest gossip.... I have friends who call and make me almost died from hyperventilating in laughter...I am pretty sure I'll never be able to top THIS, well....unless I buy a sex toy.

Does your kid poop in your towel closet?

Mine does.

Ahh Push It

Today, at TheBrokins, I am talking about race as it relates to a childhood memory. Check it out and join the conversation!